13 Jan 2014
Life is hard. Life is bumpy… more like tumultuous! It hits you in the gut when you least expect it. But at the same time, life is beautiful. Life is hope. Life is magic. Life is a wise teacher. Life gives us daily gifts, even in the rockiest times. I wrote a blog a while back about my three “go to” words and I wanted to pull them out again as we start accelerating into 2014: Perception, choice, and attitude. These words are how I deal with the wild roller coaster of life and what keeps me grounded and somewhat sane in times when I just want to scream and shout: WHY?!?!? REALLY LIFE, REALLY?!?!
I am sure many of us have already faced disappointments, struggles, and hardships this year, even just two weeks in. And if you haven’t, you probably will at some point in 2014. Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, Lindi, way to be a Debbie Downer!” I know, I know…BUT there is a method to my madness! By starting the year knowing that we have the tools to deal with the pain that will pop-up in our path, we can find light in even the darkest of places. I often say to clients, instead of thinking, “Oh my god it’s burning!” (insert negative, death voice here), think “Oh my god it’s burning!” (insert happy, positive, excited voice here!) It’s about perception. I tell my clients to get excited about the burn, because the more something challenges you, the more it changes you. Now, trust me, I know this is easier said than done, especially when it comes to life outside DMF.
Things happen that are out of our control. BUT, what we CAN control is how we CHOOSE to react and PERCEIVE these events and our ATTITUDE going forward. By adopting an attitude of life is happening for us, rather than to us, we can make sense out of tough situations. This idea has literally SAVED me the last few years, and continues to save me daily! Any situation, relationship, event, or moment that is challenging me or causing me pain, I look at as a teacher. I ask myself, “What am I supposed to gain and learn from this?” This doesn’t always come naturally and I often have to force myself to ask myself these questions, but I promise you it is worth a try. It allows me to surrender to the situation and ultimately rebuild my hope for the good that is yet to come. It’s much easier to fall into the “blame game” route as I call it. This blame and victimization route is SO prevalent in our society. We are constantly putting our problems on someone else: If only my boss wasn’t so controlling…If only my partner cared more…If only there wasn’t so much competition in by business…if only my co-worker wasn’t such an idiot…If only I had more money… If only I lived in a better neighborhood… If only I didn’t inherit my dad’s sweet tooth…If only I could vacation more. It’s a nasty little habit that many of us fall in to.
The harder route, but SO much more powerful, is to find the courage to CHOOSE to take responsibility for our circumstances and then creatively work through them. For me, it again goes back to perception, attitude, and choice: How can I perceive this situation differently? What is this trying to teach me? How is this giving value to my life? When we can look past the painto the gain, life changes for the better. Once I deal with perception, I deal with choice. I can either choose to go forward positively, with new found wisdom and light, or I can take with me a jaded outlook that life sucks. And I will ALWAYS choose the positive ATTITUDE even if it takes me some time to get there. You might say, “But Lindi, you are such a positive and hopeful person.” No, I CHOOSE to adopt a positive attitude because going forth with hope is the only way to free me from the pain of the past, and often, the present.
So as you venture into this New Year, remember that you have the power of perception, choice and attitude to help you make sense of any roadblock that pops up in your path.
Can’t wait to dance it out with you this week!
Lindi and The DMF Team
06 Jan 2014
Happy 2014! We are SO excited to bust a move with you this year! I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “New Year, New You” a gazillion times by now. I truly dislike this phrase. One, because I feel like it implies that I totally failed last year and I need to start over from scratch. And two, it’s become such a marketing tool in our commercial world–a catch phrase, if you will, for the media to pin a story of getting fit, making more money, being more productive, etc., etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of a fresh start, new goals, and a clean slate, but I think we often get caught up in the immediacy of our sexy, new goals rather than taking the time to create a real VISION and PLAN for the entire year. I’m completely guilty of this myself. I jump head first into life, often without a solid plan. Well, not this year. I’m trying something different. I’m actually taking the time to create the vision and the plan before I go about setting lofty goals. It’s a bit exhausting, but I KNOW it will be worth it. Will you join me?
They say a vision will pull you forward. George Washington Carver says, “Where there is no vision, there is no hope.” The Dalai Lama says, “In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.” So I ask you, what do you really want your life to look like a year from now? How do you want to feel? And most importantly, why? It’s nice to set goals, but often we don’t seepast the goal and we set them in a hasty, non-committal manner, without establishing the bigger picture. That’s where vision comes in. Having a clear vision of what we want, and more importantly, WHY we want it, helps pull us through the difficult hurdles that are sure to pop up in our path. For some people, defining a vision might be easy, but for others (like me!) the task can be can be daunting. What DO I really want??!! What does that REALLY look like??!! Ahh, too many life questions! BUT, while taking the time to sit with my thoughts, I’ve found that honing in my values and what I believe to be my purpose, helps me define my vision. What do I feel I was put on this earth to do and how will my vision drive me toward this purpose? What type of people, activities and lifestyle will lead me toward this vision? How can I foster relationships that will fulfill my vision in the upcoming year? What about you? What does your vision look like?
Next step: the PLAN. What’s your roadmap to the vision for 2014? It’s nice to say I want to change the world, lose weight, grow my business, save money, do more community service, buy a house, find a significant other, but if there is not a solid PLAN, in a month or so, life will surely get in the way. And I don’t mean a general plan, I mean a specific plan that includes small, daily and weekly habits that are key in achieving your goals, and more importantly your vision. I read a great article recently about systems. The author says rather than setting goals, we should focus on the systems behind the goals. For example, if you are a coach and the goal is for your team to win a championship, the system is the daily training and practice regimes. If you’re a writer and your goal is to write a book, your system is a daily writing schedule. Focusing primarily on the system, rather than the goal, sets us up for success.
So this year I encourage you to join me and get specific about your system or plan. What can we do daily, weekly, and monthly to propel us toward our vision for 2014? I’m still working on mine, but I really feel that taking the time now will help me in the future. What’s your plan look like?
We are ALWAYS here for you at DMF and hope we can bring some sweaty, dance-party joy into your life and vision for 2014! This year is going to be awesome and we can’t wait to share it with you!
Lots of Love,
Lindi and The DMF Team